“One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.” - Bryant McGill, author of Voice of Reason
Dear friends,
Last week, I made a promise to myself that I would finally go through some old boxes of stuff accumulated over the decades. Imagine my surprise to find that one box contained a myriad of church history: old photos, church directories, and a folder containing all my notes from my mid-1990’s tenure on FUUN’s Board of Directors.
I remember my time on the Board vividly. It was 1995, just following the conflict which revolved around abuse perpetrated by our minister. Many of you lived through it, and if not, hopefully you have heard of it as we have reviewed the history of FUUN during our anniversary. It was a time of deep fracture, resentment and distrust. The Board struggled with many issues. We made some mistakes, but we did two things right: We created the Safe Congregation Panel and we commissioned “The Listening Project.”
The Listening Project was designed to facilitate congregational healing, to achieve justice, to end the conflict and ill-feeling, and to guide our decision-making. To do this, we hired a group of three psychologists to listen to anyone who wanted to be heard. Not to provide therapy, not to investigate and not to develop a history. Their purpose was just to LISTEN. Over 132 people were interviewed and the results were published in a report, a copy of which I found in that box I mentioned earlier. The Board used that to move forward.
I’m not going to rehash the report. Anyone who wants to see it is welcome to my copy before I drop it in the 75th Anniversary Time Capsule. It’s just that, today, seeing that report reminded me of the importance of listening. Listening is essential to fostering strong relationships, building trust, and improving understanding. It shows respect, helps develop empathy and patience, prevents misunderstandings, resolves conflict, and enhances learning. It also helps to identify future problems so that we can be in front of them and not behind them.
The Committee on Shared Ministry (COSM), on which I serve, has been charged by the Board of Directors with listening to the Congregation. We are to actively seek out attitudes or activities that may adversely affect the congregation’s mission and covenant. We are to encourage healthy communication and covenantal conflict engagement; and, where conflicts arise, we may advise, guide, or facilitate processes of understanding and reconciliation.
We are here to listen to your joys, concerns, and thoughts about all aspects of FUUN. You can do that by seeking us out to talk in person or by phone, or you can email us at:
Please be aware that we will not accept anonymous or second-hand feedback. In addition, we prefer you avoid using Committee members’ personal emails or phone texts to communicate to ensure confidentiality. No one other than the COSM has access to the email above.
Finally, please note that our charge from the Board states that we have no governance, administrative, or personnel authority. Our goal is to LISTEN, guide, and facilitate. In doing so, we support the shared ministry of the Congregation.
Please let us know your feelings about FUUN!
Respectfully,
Steve Jones, Chair of the Committee on Shared Ministry
Other members are: Rev. Charlotte Arsenault (ex-officio), Jeannie Haman, Nancy Ledbetter, Pat Lynch, Doug Pasto-Crosby, Sharon Ruiz
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